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I’m obsessed with CONTROL



My obsession with order has turned into an obsession with making sure that everything in my life is going as planned. This, my friends, is called CONTROL.


In my head is a very structured sequence of events. I've practically planned out my life and sadly... my imaginary life has not manifested in my real life (as much as I'd like it to). There is nothing worse than feeling like things are spiraling out of control and all you can do is watch it unfold. After years of research, I've come to the conclusion that this phenomenon is referred to as LIFE and lucky for us, we all are apart of it. Don't get me wrong, I have a great life! I'm very much happy but this need to control certain situations is getting out of hand

See, life has an amazing way of humbling you. One minute, life is amazing and everything you’ve imaged is coming into fruition. This yields a lovely feeling of happiness and conformability and then BOOM. Before you know it everything is a mess. As millennials say, I should've just sat their and ate my food.

My obsession with control has just recently unveiled itself and I'm not too surprised about it. It has revealed itself in how I make decisions, how I plan out my life and even how I interact with human beings.


Obviously, I can see how my obsession can be constructive. BecausI have control I usually:

- Can show up to meetings on time

- Stop eating when my tummy is full

- I plan my outfits the night before class

- I order my groceries online because I know I can never stick to a grocery list


My obsession with control has been destructive in ways such as:

- I stress over things that I cannot change

- I force change

- I pre-plan MONTHS ahead of time neglecting to acknowledge the current moment

- It causes my stress which affects me mentally, physically and spiritually


So now that I've aired out all of my dirty laundry, this is the part where I tell you all what I'm going to do to avoid being a "Control Freak".


1. TAKE EVERYTHING ONE STEP AT A TIME

I have a bad habit of overwhelming myself. Once one thing has fallen out of line, I find myself going INSANE. The smart thing to do would be to put everything in perspective and fight one battle at a time.

2. UNDERSTAND THAT NOT EVERYTHING IS GOING TO GO MY WAY

I fault my mom and dad for always giving me what I want (JK). My parents rarely told me "No" and it has given me some unrealistic views on life.

3. "RESPECT THE PROCESS"

This "Life" thing is a process. It is a rollercoaster of things compiled in one. In order to gain TRUE happiness, one has to understand that the idea of having control over everything Is completely unrealistic.

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